The ring is on, the date is circled, and suddenly there are a hundred decisions to make: the venue, the guest list, the cake. With so much attention on the wedding day, it’s easy to overlook the bigger picture: the marriage that begins the morning after.
That’s where premarital counseling comes in. Many couples aren’t sure what it involves. Some worry that signing up means something is wrong. Others wonder whether Texas requires it. If you’ve been asking yourself either question, you’re not alone. Let’s walk through what premarital counseling is, what it isn’t, and what to expect.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is a series of guided conversations between you, your partner, and a trained professional before you marry. In general, the focus isn’t on deciding whether you should get married. It’s on talking through expectations, communication, and how you handle the hard moments that come up in any relationship.
Our marriage counseling page puts it this way: attending couples counseling “does not necessarily mean there is a huge problem in your marriage or relationship.” The same is true before the wedding. Choosing premarital counseling doesn’t mean your engagement is in trouble.
Is Premarital Counseling Required in Texas?
No. Under the Texas Family Code, premarital education isn’t required to get a marriage license. Instead, the law encourages each person applying for a marriage license to complete a premarital education course of at least eight hours in the year before applying. By law, those courses must include instruction in conflict management, communication skills, and the key components of a successful marriage.
The state’s program for these courses is called Twogether in Texas, run by the Texas Health and Human Services Commission. According to the program:
- Completing an approved 8-hour course can take up to $60 off the state portion of your marriage license fee. Any local county fees still apply.
- It also waives the 72-hour waiting period between getting your license and holding your ceremony.
- Your completion certificate is good for one year, and you’ll need to bring the original certificate to the county clerk.
- To qualify, the course must be taught by a registered Twogether in Texas service provider.
Whether a course qualifies depends on the provider’s Twogether in Texas registration and the course meeting the 8-hour requirement. If the certificate matters to you, ask any provider before you enroll, ours included, or use the provider search on the Twogether in Texas website. Premarital counseling and the state certificate are not the same thing. Some couples choose premarital counseling whether or not a certificate is involved. Fees and rules can change, so check current details with your county clerk.
What Happens in Premarital Counseling?
Here’s how our pre-marital counseling service page describes our approach.
A Plan Built Around the Two of You
Our pre-marital counseling sessions are custom-tailored to the needs and goals of each couple and focus on the areas the couple feels need the most attention in their relationship. Our service page outlines six recommended premarital counseling and marital education sessions covering the topics listed below.
Understanding Each Other More Deeply
Through sessions with our licensed professionals, couples learn about what marriage entails and work on creating a deeper self-awareness to identify and resolve differences. The sessions also include learning about each other’s backgrounds and identifying the traps in your relationship.
Skills Couples Work On
According to our service page, the sessions allow couples to learn how to cope with stressors caused by work and outside events, how to deal with anger or a lack of communication, and how to keep their romance alive by understanding each other’s needs and expectations. Our goal is to help you learn how to communicate effectively with each other and resolve conflicts in a positive and healthy manner.
Common Premarital Counseling Topics
Our service page lists these topics for the recommended sessions:
- Interpersonal communication
- Money and finances
- Sexuality
- Conflict negotiation and problem solving
- Religion and philosophy
- Roles and marriage expectations
- Careers and individual interests
- In-laws and family interactions
- Social interactions and friends
- Children and parenting
You don’t have to agree on everything. The aim is to identify and resolve differences between you and your partner.
What About Faith?
Some couples want their faith to be part of their preparation for marriage, and others prefer a non-religious approach. Our pre-marital counseling sessions are not religiously oriented or affiliated with any specific religion or belief. We will incorporate your religious values and beliefs into our sessions and respect them at whatever level of involvement they have in your lives.
Does Premarital Counseling Really Help?
Here’s what some published research has found. These are general findings about groups of couples, not New Horizons’ own results, and they can’t predict what will happen for any individual couple. A large, random household survey across four U.S. states found that couples who had participated in premarital education reported higher satisfaction and commitment, lower conflict, and lower odds of divorce (Stanley et al., 2006). The authors note that a survey like this can’t prove cause and effect. A separate review of 117 studies found that marriage and relationship education programs produced modest improvements in relationship quality and communication skills, and that programs with a moderate number of hours tended to show larger benefits than very brief ones (Hawkins et al., 2008).
Every couple is unique, and no counseling program, including ours, can promise a particular outcome.
Signs It May Be a Good Time to Start
Some couples find premarital counseling feels especially timely when:
- You keep circling back to the same disagreement without resolving it.
- Wedding planning is causing more stress or tension than expected. Our stress management page describes one-on-one support tailored to your specific needs.
- You’re blending families, relocating, or navigating a big career change.
- You come from different cultural, religious, or family backgrounds.
- One or both of you have been married before.
- You simply want to set aside time to prepare together.
A note on safety: Couples counseling generally assumes both partners feel safe in the relationship. If you ever feel afraid of your partner, or feel threatened, controlled, or pressured, please reach out for confidential support from the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
Taking the Next Step Together
Planning a wedding is exciting, and it can also be overwhelming. Setting aside time to focus on each other, rather than the to-do list, is a gift you give your future selves.
Here at New Horizons Center for Healing, right here in McKinney, Texas, our pre-marital counseling is conducted by licensed professional counselors who tailor sessions to each couple’s specific needs, in a comfortable and intimate setting. Whether your wedding is next month or next year, reach out to us today to learn more about premarital counseling. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
This article is for general educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and reading it does not create a counselor-client or other provider relationship with New Horizons Center for Healing. If you are experiencing an emergency, call 911. If you are in crisis or having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Sources
- Texas Family Code, Chapter 2, §2.013 (Premarital Education Courses) and §2.204 (72-Hour Waiting Period; Exceptions). Texas Legislature. https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/FA/htm/FA.2.htm
- Twogether in Texas, Frequently Asked Questions. Texas Health and Human Services Commission. https://twogetherintexas.com/UI/faq.aspx
- Stanley, S. M., Amato, P. R., Johnson, C. A., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability: Findings from a large, random household survey. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 117–126. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.20.1.117 (PubMed 16569096)
- Hawkins, A. J., Blanchard, V. L., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2008). Does marriage and relationship education work? A meta-analytic study. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5), 723–734. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0012584 (PubMed 18837590)
- National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/
