Having a deep personal regard for one’s partner is fundamental in marital happiness, as well as the healthy functioning of one’s family. While many would say that communication is the primary breakdown in a marriage relationship, one might consider that the breakdown is different, or deeper than that. You can communicate well with someone, but if you don’t have a deep regard for them, the relationship will not thrive.
When you think if your close/best friends and a disagreement you might have with them, or an incident of miscommunication, you typically still look on the bright side or extend the benefit of the doubt. “She has been really busy lately and it slipped her mind,” or “he probably reacted that way to me because his boss has been putting a lot of pressure on him lately.” When we think of the adversities we’ve experienced together with our close friends, we tend to put our main emphasis on the fact that we persevered or overcame. We focus on the triumph.
However when, in our marriage relationship, we begin to lose regard for one another, the focus tends to go straight to the struggle, not the triumphant victory.
If you are struggling in your marriage, consider making an effort to shift your focus to the triumphs, not the trials, of your relationship story. While the storyline is the same, the part we put the emphasis on can greatly impact how we regard our partner.
When we regard him or her as a good friend, give the benefit of the doubt, and remember to celebrate the victories together, we can begin to laugh more and enjoy life and relationship with one another.
For marriage or relationship help, we at New Horizon’s would love to be a part of helping your relationship healing begin. Call us today to schedule an appointment for you and your partner.